It sounds like you’re in a difficult and complicated situation. It’s completely normal to experience changes in sexual attraction over time in a relationship and it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. However, it’s important to address your feelings honestly for both your own well-being and the health of your relationship.
Here are a few things you might want to consider:
1. Assess the root cause
Think about whether there’s a specific reason why your sexual attraction has waned. Is it related to your boyfriend’s behavior, changes in your own desires, stress, or other factors? It could be that your connection has evolved, or perhaps there are aspects of your physical or emotional relationship that need attention.
2. Communication
Open, honest communication with your boyfriend is key. It may be uncomfortable, but discussing your feelings can help you both understand what’s going on and what you want to change. A lack of sexual attraction doesn’t necessarily mean the end of your relationship if both partners are willing to work through it together.
3. Emotional vs. Physical Connection
You mentioned that you love him, which is a strong emotional connection. It’s important to explore whether the lack of sexual attraction is temporary or stems from a deeper change in how you see your partner. Sometimes love can coexist with a decrease in sexual desire, but finding a balance is essential for the happiness of both partners.
4. Rekindle the Physical Connection
If you’re both open to it, you can explore ways to rekindle your physical connection. This could involve rediscovering each other’s touch, being intimate without the pressure of sex, or seeking outside help like couples therapy if necessary.
5. Assess Your Needs
Ask yourself if you can be in a relationship where sexual attraction is absent, or if this is something you need to feel fulfilled. It’s okay to need different things in a relationship, and sometimes people grow in different directions.
6. Consider professional support
If the situation seems difficult to navigate alone, relationship counseling can provide guidance and help you understand the complexities of love, attraction, and intimacy.
Ultimately, I am not sexually attracted to my boyfriend but I love him. Relationships require care and effort, but they also require honesty with yourself and your partner. Take the time to understand your feelings and communicate openly with him.